If you could choose any of the infinite variations of color of the rainbow to represent how you experience yourself, what color would you pick? Dusty rose? Cobalt blue? Emerald green?
In my junior year creative writing class in high school, I wrote an essay answering the question: “What Color Am I?”
I remember this assignment, not because I aced it but because it opened up something in me that for decades has felt unresolved. That is, until last year.
But first. What color did 15-year-old me pick as a representation of self? Yellow. It’s probably not what you’re thinking. I didn’t pick yellow because I thought it represented a sunny, cheerful disposition ?.
I picked yellow because, in my teenage mind, yellow was the most “influenceable” of all colors.
As I reasoned, you put yellow next to kelly green, and you’ve got a cheerful burst of springtime. But if you put yellow next to olive green, you’ve got the makings of slimy mold.
The funny thing is, I don’t remember the grade I received. But I do remember Mr. Oliver’s comment in the margin: “You’re too hard on yourself.”
Now, that would have been a great conversation starter. Teenage me would have loved to have followed that up with, “So, what do I do about that?” But instead, those words just sat there, silently, without anywhere to go. And they’ve been sitting there with me all these years.
Fast forward to 2020 when… well, you know, 2020.
I was looking for something new to explore in my reading, and I ordered Judith Orloff’s Empath Survival Guide. Up until then, I had shied away from exploring material on empaths. Mostly because I’m not crazy about labels. In healing work, sometimes labels get in the way of being present with people and supporting in-the-moment transformation.
But, 2020… So, I decided to take a gander.
The day the book arrived, I read it straight through in one sitting — highlighter in hand, nodding my head, “yes, me too,” at every turn of the page.
What a healing it was to have someone articulate so clearly what my experience has been my whole life… of being like a radio receiver for the energy in my environment, and of the exhaustion that comes along with that and the need to retreat into nature to restore myself. Of the self-judgment ingrained from being told over and over, “you’re too sensitive.” And, of the amazing intuitive awareness that comes from this hypersensitivity.
It wasn’t until reading this book that the high school assignment resurfaced from the depths of memory. And what a gift it was, because it was like a question I had asked many decades ago finally got answered.
Why am I sharing this with you?
Because, first of all, you just never know when you’re going to make new connections in your life.
Just when you think you understand yourself, some new piece of information can slide into your awareness in a matter-of-fact way. And, turns out, it’s a spontaneous excursion into new oceans of self-discovery.
So, if you’re feeling a little stuck, or a little bored in your relationship with yourself, just give it a minute or two. Chances are something will come your way and invite you on a surprise trip to uncharted realms of you. So, ahoy there!
Secondly, I am so jazzed about this empath exploration that I have created a course for empaths and highly sensitive people to learn how to manage their energy, create inner peace, and be empowered in the world.
It’s called Essential Energy Care For The Awakening Empath and includes five live Zoom sessions beginning in May, where we’ll create more understanding of your empath nature and how energy impacts you. And, you’ll learn simple yet powerful tools you can use every day to ground yourself, clear toxic energy out of your space, and set healthy energy boundaries.
These are the techniques I’ve been using myself every single day for years, and that I learned from Lauren Skye and Margaret Johnson at Inner Connection Institute. I’m so grateful to them for giving their blessing to weave these tools into a course dedicated specifically to supporting empaths and highly sensitive people.
I’ll be sharing more about the course soon. If you’re curious, you can visit the course page here.
And, if all this empath talk has struck a chord and you want to learn a little more (are you yellow too???), you can begin here with this article: What Does It Mean To Be An Empath & How Does It Affect Your Energy.
P.S. This month’s playlist… I made a playlist for you. Actually, I made it for myself. And I love it so much I want to share it with you. I call it “Creative Cave” because it helps put me in my creative zone. I don’t work well with music on – I find it too distracting. But, this playlist helps me transition from one thing to the next by lifting my spirits and putting me in a groovy groove. Enjoy!